A Heavy Realization

A few weeks ago, I was in the middle of praying for God to give my precious future brother a questioning and seeking heart and for all of his searching to lead him to the Truth……when I had a thought that made me stop in my tracks.

We’ve all been there in one way, shape, or form.  If you did Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy in your house growing up – think back to what it felt like as a child the moment you realized that none of it was true.  Maybe you felt betrayed by your parents.  Maybe you felt angry that they lied to you.  Maybe you felt disappointment that future holidays would never be the same.  Maybe you felt embarrassed that you had believed all of that for so long.  For a child, that can be a crushing realization.

Maybe you’ve experienced betrayal at the hands of someone you loved deeply and trusted completely.  At that moment, you feel like every single thing you’ve been living has been a complete and utter lie.  You feel angry, hurt, and broken-hearted.  You wonder how you could have been so naïve.  You don’t know what’s real anymore….who you can trust….what you can believe.

Now imagine that….maybe over a long period of time….or maybe in an instant….you realize that the religion that your parents brought you up to believe……that you really believed was the truth…..is not the truth at all.  I realize this is slightly different than the above scenarios because a.) In this situation your parents don’t believe they are lying and b.) You are simultaneously experiencing the utter elation of the Holy Spirit and the joy of being welcomed home as a child of God…..but what would that feel like for Jahar….to realize that he has killed four people, critically injured hundreds of others, and completely destroyed his life here on earth in the name of a false god that does not exist?  The weight of that consumed me as I lifted Jahar up in prayer that day.

Whether it’s happening right now or it happens 50 years from now, as Jahar comes to know the Truth – I pray that God will be there to comfort him.  I am quite certain that he will need help to sort out the laundry list of emotions that inevitably come with such a heavy realization.  However, I rest in my thankfulness that one day, Jahar will serve a God who is able to be his Help.

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28 Responses to A Heavy Realization

  1. Ada says:

    I suppose that, in one sense, that betrayal and loneliness Jahar will feel could possible bring him even closer to God. I mean, when you’re (meaning any one of us) upset and there’s nobody around to say, “Hey, it’s going to be okay,” who do you turn to? God. Perhaps Jahar will realize that the world is not the one to run to in times of trouble, but God is the One to look to. Jahar will realize the comfort and power of God. That’s the good side I see.
    I still don’t envy him when he realizes what it really is. That’s going to be something else.

  2. brokenheart4whatbreakshis says:

    Oh, I definitely think it will……and the whole thing is really a good thing. I was just thinking that to realize that everything you believed your whole life isn’t real…..that must be a crazy feeling despite how joyful coming to Christ is.

  3. Ada says:

    EVERYBODY! I need you to join me in prayer. I visited a blog yesterday and the author seems to suffer from depression (she’s middle eastern) and has some emotional problems. I gave her the plan of salvation and tried to encourage her. Then I visited again and she had posted that she was “tired” and sinking back down into depression feeling as if she were forgotten, etc. So I commented and all and told her that no she wasn’t and she replied back the reason and after I told her that God had a plan for her she said that yeah she had a plan for herself too and it was probably the same as God’s. So we’ve been replying back and forth and she’s quit now with a “Thanks” and please pray for her. There’s always a chance that this isn’t for real, but I’m going to go with my instinct and say it is. PRAY PLEASEEEEEE!
    She just visited my blog, so she’s ok for now but still please pray for her! She goes by Dee.

    • brokenheart4whatbreakshis says:

      I will absolutely pray for Dee. Do you know anything about her faith background? Is she Muslim?

      • Ada says:

        I don’t know. In her profile, she seems to be wearing a headscarf. When I talk to her about God, the only negative response that I got was the one I wrote above (the one that made me really scared for her!). But as you said about Muslims and God…. She’s mentioned praying to God before (with a little “g”), so I don’t know. But because of the headscarf, I’d say probably Muslim. (She also said that she was “Middle Eastern.”)

      • Ada says:

        K, I just responded to another post (one where she says, quote, “I know I need help, I’ve been asking for help, shouting for help, screaming for help and haven’t received and of this help you’re speaking of.”) and again mentioned Christ, saying that He’d never forsake those who’ve faith in Him.

        She responded back: “I know. Thank you. But you’ve to know that im a Muslim. So all this “Jesus Christ” isn’t for me lol but yes I know what you mean. Thank you 🙂 “

        So yeah, she’s definitely Muslim 😦

        Any suggestions? I’ve not responded back yet.

      • brokenheart4whatbreakshis says:

        I don’t know that I have the magic answer, but I would say a.) Tell her that you will be praying for her and that you are always there if she wants to talk. Love on her with the love of Christ. b.) Start doing some research and learning as much as you can about Islam in case she ever gets to the point where she wants to talk and has questions. c.) Pray about it and trust the Holy Spirit to guide you.

      • Ada says:

        Okay, thank you very much!

    • Bri says:

      I didn’t have the chance to reply to this while in Hawaii (limited time and plus, my dad destroyed my phone), but I prayed for Dee a couple times.

      • Ada says:

        Thank you for praying! When I posted, she had said (wrote) some stuff that made me worry about her safety. I was hoping for the comfort of knowing that there were a lot of cries to God about Dee…and I received! After what I posted on here, I followed K’s advice, and she commented back “Don’t worry about it and thank you!” and “Same to you!” (I don’t know exactly what Dee was referring to when she said “Same to you.” I’d just apologized for the late reply and thanked her for replying politely about my comments on Christ. I asked her to comment on my blog or on her’s if she ever wanted to talk and that I’d subscribe to instant posts/comments so I’d get the comment. I told her that I’d be praying for her, especially for her peace.)
        She’s not posted or commented since then, but I’ve seen where she’s visited my blog (she’s the only visitor from Ireland 🙂

        Sorry to hear about your phone, Bri. Was it a very violent demise?

      • Bri says:

        Maybe she was thanking you for replying politely likewise to what she said about her faith?

        My dad had my phone in his swimtrunks pocket while my brother and I were swimming in the ocean. I came out for a little bit and my dad went in, forgetting to take my phone out. We tried saving it with rice, and it looked for a second like it was going to work. It didnt, though, and we wasted six hours of the vacation at AT&T getting me a new phone.

      • Ada says:

        Sorry to hear that 😦
        Couldn’t you just have made do with some string and tin cans? 😉

      • Ada says:

        And yes (talking about Dee) that would make sense!

      • brokenheart4whatbreakshis says:

        Did you just say swimtrunks? #dork Is that a normal expression in ND? LoL.

      • Bri says:

        Wait, what’s so dorky about that? Unless it’s just something my family uses, I’m pretty sure it’s normal terminology in these parts. What am I supposed to call them?

      • brokenheart4whatbreakshis says:

        Well I know what that means – but in CT that’s like a “Grandma” phrase like “dungarees” or “slacks” that no one actually uses. I dunno, we just say “bathing suit.”

      • Bri says:

        I think you CT people are the weird ones. A Google search for “swimtrunks” pops up results from major companies like Amazon, Nordstrom, Macy’s, JCPenney, Target, and Kohl’s.

      • brokenheart4whatbreakshis says:

        Yeah so? So would “bathing suit.” That proves nothing.

      • Bri says:

        It proves that people use the term…

      • brokenheart4whatbreakshis says:

        I just googled “slacks” and the same thing happened. Still a grandma word to me. :-p

  4. brokenheart4whatbreakshis says:

    You are right that God is enough! I’ve been listening to “Enough” by Chris Tomlin a lot lately so you saying that made me think of that song. Jahar’s situation is complicated and has so many layers – but God is enough for all of it. He’s got this!

  5. Ada says:

    Ummm, yeah, I think I know a lot of the reasons. For one, she said that she moved to Ireland and was bullied (much in part due to her poor English). She fell “in love” with a boy like, about a week ago, and he wrote that she “needed help.” Yet, as she puts it, he’s not helping her. I’d put down more, but it is a lot. She’s very very very troubled.

  6. Ada says:

    That’s what I was praying last night! I tell you, Sister, I was getting scared for her by the way that she was talking.

  7. Ada says:

    I never thought about the part of God using CU4J to draw in more Muslims, but it adds up!

    • Bri says:

      That’s probably something to pray for. I’ve thought and prayed in the past about Jahar’s family stumbling upon this blog, but why not other Muslims as well?

      • Ada says:

        It would be amazing! And it is definitely not impossible. Just if they would read a smidgen of the glory of Christ, of the Love we’ve received and that we try to share with others, etc. ❤

  8. Bri says:

    This post reminds me of my favorite part of the post “The man in white”:

    I’ve lied, I’ve hated and I’ve killed in the name of a god who is not my God. I don’t know how I can ever possibly know forgiveness for all those things, but in this moment, I am aware of and truly believe in that possibility. My heart is flooded by, broken by and then finally healed by a great Love that I know flows from the heart of Jesus Christ, my Savior. “I’m sorry,” I whisper aloud. “I just want to be free and whole again. Help me. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

    That first sentence there is a heavy realization that could overwhelm him with shame and guilt. But he doesn’t have to feel that because in Christ, he’ll be 100% forgiven. Maybe the earthly consequences of his actions can’t be undone, but God will look at him and see the sinless perfection of His Son.

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