Tag Archives: pain

To My Beloved Future Brother on His 22nd Birthday

To my beloved future brother, I can’t believe this is the third birthday that has gone by since God laid you on my heart.  The love He has given me for you has grown exponentially since that day.  I know … Continue reading

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Without Suffering Grace is Hard to See

Lord is it possible to get this far And just now understand who You are? I’m feeling foolish yet relieved as well ‘Cause what I bought before, I just can’t sell But now my eyes are open wide If this … Continue reading

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Open Letter to Jahar

Note: I realize that Jahar will never read this, nor is this what I would actually write him if the special administrative measures weren’t in place because he’d probably find it extremely offensive. I just wanted to let out the … Continue reading

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You Are: A Desperate Prayer

Lord, You are El Shaddai, God Almighty, all-powerful, sovereign over everything. As jury selection starts on Monday and Jahar’s trial begins, remind us that You are in control.  We tend to think we know what is best – but You … Continue reading

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Come As You Are

What’s the point in even living anymore? Here I am in this box. No one to talk to but these four walls. Treated as if I’m a monster. Sometimes as if I don’t even exist. I’m so lonely…so depressed. I … Continue reading

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Take Heart

Jahar has so much weighing on him right now that it’s difficult to even fathom what he must be going through.  Troubles: He’s got plenty of those.  He’s likely in prison for the rest of his life.  He’s lost his … Continue reading

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I hate you

Today during Jahar’s status conference, I was looking at a list on Twitter I have that includes Boston journalists who have covered his case. One of them, Laurel J. Sweet (@laurel_sweet), was tweeting about sentencing going on the same time … Continue reading

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Aha! Moment

Ever have a moment where God just basically smacks you in the face with something and teaches you a lesson that you desperately needed to learn?  That happened to me this morning. As many of you know, some of us … Continue reading

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Your Love Never Fails

In this mission to pray Jahar into God’s kingdom, it frequently seems as if we get more bad news than good news. In those times, it would be easy to despair and lose hope – but I refuse to do … Continue reading

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I Am Here

Blood smears from my hand as I struggle to climb up into the dry-docked boat. I hardly notice, hardly care; I just have to hide. All I feel is the pain, physical pain and even greater emotional pain. Fear and … Continue reading

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